Why bother?

12:35 am It's a thing

The older I get, it seems the more often I get kicked in the head.

I try to live by Christian morals and get kicked in the head because of it.
I do my best at my job and get kicked in the head. I try to be honest and
open with members of my church and get kicked in the head. I try to better
myself with education and get kicked in the head. I try to make the world a
better place, guess what? I volunteer at my son’s school. Whammo.

When I was growing up and being picked on by bullies at school, my mother
would tell me that my turn would come. That someday I’d be the top dog and
they wouldn’t. I’m still waiting.

It makes me wonder why bother? Why try to be a better person? Why bother to
be honest? Why bother to help at the school? Why bother to work hard at all?
For that matter why bother to work at all? Why try to teach my child to work
hard, to be honest, to be kind?

It certainly seems as if I’d be further ahead if I did nothing at all. Maybe
I’ll find myself a one room apartment and just not bother to do anything.
Eventually the owners would throw me out but it would take a while. I could
apply for welfare and have someone else worry about everything.

Or maybe I should start committing crimes. What’s the worst that could
happen then? Get caught, arrested, sent to prison? Hmmm three meals/day and
lots of free time. That doesn’t sound too bad to me.

But what’s that teaching my son? That working hard isn’t worth it? That
seems to be what the universe is attempting to beat into my head. That
honesty isn’t valuable? Well it’s sure as hell gotten me nowhere.

I guess I’m just too stupid to give up.

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