My brain is mush.

Just me, podcast No Comments

Today my plan was to record and publish the first episode of a podcast that I’d like to do on a regular basis. I have a basic plan for what I want to talk about and an idea for a title and some segment names and such. What I don’t have is the software needed to actually create the podcast.

The problem is everytime I go online to look for advice and/or instructions, the information gets very technical quickly. My brain then decides it is too technical and wanders off. Seriously. I have no control over where my attention is focused. ADD is a pain in the posterior.

I think I’ll go and knit instead of trying again. Maybe my sys admin will help. If he ever gets up.

At the end of a long day,

It's a thing No Comments

I’d like to know why I can walk to work in 1000 steps but walking home takes more than 1300?
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Power and energy.

It's a thing No Comments

Power is supposed to go out tonight. I wish it would happen soon. If it goes out while I’m at work I get paid to sit down. Wouldn’t that be nice?

I’m so tired of everything right now. Tired of headaches, of money, of being a parent, of my cow-irkers, of the customers.

I’m really tired of worrying about money. I need a real job. One that pays enough that I can have my own car again. Or even just that pays enough that we could meet our budget again. I feel like we reduced everything possible and we’re still not making ends meet.

Well break’s over. Time to begin the slog again.
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I don’t know where to turn.

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Wednesday 5pm Dale is out of town this week so I’m single-parenting it. It shouldn’t be as difficult as it is. He’s only one kid.

Right now he’s refusing to do his problem of the week because it’s not due until Friday. If I let go, I’d grab him and shake him until he rattled. Instead my emotions are tightly reigned in and I sent him to his room.
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Just me No Comments

It’s been 9 or 10 months since I last posted. I’m not sure why I keep this website around. Some silly idea that I’ll update it on a regular basis.

Reading my last post, I have the feeling not much has changed. I still want a job so that we can get some help with the house. I still want to feel like a functioning useful member of society.

Things that have changed: I have a part-time minimum wage joe job. It’s close to home so that I can walk to work, which is nice. Over the summer I did walk quite a bit. Now that it’s colder, I wimp out and take the car when I can. I was getting 15 or so hours a week which is just enough to make our budget. With winter here and various staff returning from mat leave/European tours and other things, this week I got six. Six isn’t enough to justify getting out of bed in the morning. I don’t know what to do. No, that’s not true. I need to find a full time job. But that I don’t seem to be able to accomplish.

Depression has me in a tight hold right now. Everything seems like too much. I don’t have energy unless it is externally supplied. I’m totally frustrated with the house and parenting and money and and and. I set a goal of applying for one job a week. I haven’t managed that. I’ve asked Dale for help with applying for things and he agrees but when it comes to sitting down to do it…..

Part of that is the fact that he is doing most of the parenting these days. I just get too angry too easily. He’s almost ten and we still have issues with toileting. We haven’t even tried to night train yet. He’s getting better with accidents but I really just would like him to figure it out. I didn’t expect to still be dealing with poopy underwear at this age. Homework is another huge issue. I wish there was a magic wand I could wave and have him be able to focus on his school work enough to get it done with out one of us hovering.

Sigh. I’m going for a nap.

Sick sick sick.

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I’m sick of applying for jobs. I’m sick of doing housework. I’m sick. (No, really. I have a stomach flu.)

I just want one job. Just one. Why can I not get a job? I hear about twenty-eleven thousands of jobs being created on the news. I just want one.

I need new strategies for getting my resume in front of people. I hate doing it. Despite my mother telling me for years that I wasn’t shy, I am. Puting myself in front of others for any reason is exhausting. It’s also often terrifying.  I’m trying to design some “intro cards” to pass out but although I know in theory what put on them, I can’t quite make the leap to designing them.

I want a job so that we can pay someone else to do housework again. As expensive as our last person was, I love her. She so totally made our life better. I’m not sure if the stomach flu that we’ve all got is from grossness in the house or if it’s just a bug that we picked up. Either way, I want it to go away.

My day.

It's a thing No Comments

Very productive.


Get boy to school. Dale headed to work. Sit down at computer to apply for jobs. Friend phones. Talk for two minutes. Hang up because doorbell rings. Answered door. JW’s at door for hubby.  Decided to start dishes before going back to computer. Got halfway through that. Heard cat yakking upstairs. Ran for that. Cleaned it up. Decided to collect bag of garbage to take downstairs & outside. Doorbell rings. Answered door. Package for Dale.  Upstairs to put it in office. Decide to start laundry. Wonder if I should do our bedding. Look for new set of sheets that I know we have somewhere. Find bag of craft supplies I thought was lost. Decide to clean/organize craft area. Sit down and get lost in beading. Tear self from that. Take yarn downstairs with knitting case. Feel hungry. Realize I didn’t start dishes. Mostly fill dishwasher. Head upstairs to look for cups. Find current book. Get distracted by smut. Become very relaxed. Fall asleep. (1 hour) Wake up. Realize tonight is cub banquet. Look for my uniform. Find most of it. Notice hairbrush. Start brushing hair. While brushing hair remember I hadn’t phoned friend back. Go back to purple room for phone. Phone and leave msg at her house. Check for texts. Text Dale about what plan for tonight is. Text her about jw’s. Jeff comes home. Talk to him about DS. Friend phones. We discuss how unproductive my day has been.  Continue with hair. Shower is next. Really. I promise.


Some days it’s just not gonna happen.

Wisegal, the game

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Well, Here is review the second.


Sunday’s game was called Wisegal. It’s the game version of a movie supposedly based on a true story of a woman trying to escape the mob. The story is a little clichéd but that may be due to the lack of character development needed in such a game. Wisegal is a fairly typical ‘hidden object’ game with two sub-modes sprinkled in.


The first sub-mode is picture taking. Based on black and white miniatures of four pictures at a time, you must place the “view-finder” over the right area in the scene. The pictures were, of course, horrible subjects but anything else would be too easy to identify. I find this type of play gets old very quickly simply because the pictures are mostly of edges of things. However here it was sufficiently rare so it wasn’t over-bearing.


The second sub-mode was placing bugs on various items. Here the pictures in the side bar were better. Lots of suspension of disbelief was required here as the bugs were bright blue and blinking. Not very subtle, at all.


The execution of the game made it a worthwhile play. The scene pictures were clear and clean. Items to find were in real-life proportion and well defined. Occasionally it was difficult to select an item simply because it was small. (ex brass knuckles in the park) For the most part they fit the story line well and were items that the heroine would actually look for in the story.


There are three complaints that I have. Fairly minor ones, even.


The end game included some pretty obvious puzzle opportunities that were not exploited. I can understand why they weren’t as there are no other puzzles in the game. However puzzles would have fit well here and were missed.


My second complaint is the lack of a zoom feature. It would have been much appreciated when I was looking for lost earrings in one of the earlier scenes.


Lastly, I wouldn’t want my son to play this because there were guns in every nearly scene. Some knowledge of gun types(AK-47, Uzi, pistol, shotgun) was required. Again this is a question of the hidden objects fitting the story line. Still, as a mom, I don’t want him to be exposed to the idea that guns are normal and should be common knowledge.


All in all, a nice enough game. Fairly short to play, (2hours or so) and I doubt I’ll be returning to it, but a nice enough diversion for a Sunday evening.




Free game of the day

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I often download and play the free game of the day from I’ve been meaning to start reviews of them for a long while but the game from Feb 2 moves me to comment. The game is called “Dr. Wise, Medical Mysteries” and it sucks.

It’s pretty obviously a re-theme of a previous game. Or a re-graphicing. Not sure what to call it. However, that’s not the issue with it. The issue is the inconsistencies with in the game and the constant crashing.

The problems start with the icon as installed. It is labelled “Millionaire Manor - Hidden Object Show 3″. Not a big deal but it shows the lack of attention to detail by the game creators/publisher.

Once into the game it uses a pretty common layout of column of buttons and items on the right third of the screen and the scene using the left and middle thirds. No issues there.

The story of the game is two interns sent to the homes and work places of their patients to assist in diagnossing them. They receive their instructions from Dr. Paul Wise. I can only assume that Dr. Wise is a copy of some TV doctor as his dialog is insulting, rude and arrogant from the beginning.  This doesn’t endear the game to me to begin with. 

The concept of interns being sent away from the hospital doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. It is so fantastic, it escapes my ’suspension of disbelief’ net.

The most major problem: The game seems to crash after each level, unless the level is the chapter end. Yes I persevered all the way through the first chapter and into the next. Again, I’m pretty forgiving and the program crashing was a boost to get off the couch and do other stuff.

The next problem is the incorrect labeling of items. Towards the end of the second chapter, the doctor tasks his interns to find several ‘closeup photos of the patient’. The game requests “old closeup photos of patient” in the item list. There exists only one photo in the scene and clicking it had no effect.  What did have effect was selecting x rays scattered around the scene. That’s quite a closeup if you ask me. I clicked on an x ray because they were obviously out of place in the location. Players who are less experienced with these types of games, (read: less obsessed) might have been completely stuck.  Once four x-rays had been found, the game is willing to continue. Sort of. It crashed again.

I don’t think I’m being ultra critical here. The mis-labeling of items to be found is a common problem in casual games. It’s often pretty obviously a culture/language issue.  But in this case, combined with the crashing and general bad attitude of the dialog and story, it’s just a deal breaker. I won’t be finishing this game.

As a reviewer, I feel the need to have a rating system but I don’t really want to go with stars or some other standard one. I’ve been casting around for one that would fit my life but haven’t found one yet. (Laundry loads, dishwasher loads, cat box cleanings?) If you have any ideas, please feel free to leave a comment.  Regardless, this game blows chunks. No further rating needed.

Why bother?

It's a thing Comments Off

The older I get, it seems the more often I get kicked in the head.

I try to live by Christian morals and get kicked in the head because of it.
I do my best at my job and get kicked in the head. I try to be honest and
open with members of my church and get kicked in the head. I try to better
myself with education and get kicked in the head. I try to make the world a
better place, guess what? I volunteer at my son’s school. Whammo.

When I was growing up and being picked on by bullies at school, my mother
would tell me that my turn would come. That someday I’d be the top dog and
they wouldn’t. I’m still waiting.

It makes me wonder why bother? Why try to be a better person? Why bother to
be honest? Why bother to help at the school? Why bother to work hard at all?
For that matter why bother to work at all? Why try to teach my child to work
hard, to be honest, to be kind?

It certainly seems as if I’d be further ahead if I did nothing at all. Maybe
I’ll find myself a one room apartment and just not bother to do anything.
Eventually the owners would throw me out but it would take a while. I could
apply for welfare and have someone else worry about everything.

Or maybe I should start committing crimes. What’s the worst that could
happen then? Get caught, arrested, sent to prison? Hmmm three meals/day and
lots of free time. That doesn’t sound too bad to me.

But what’s that teaching my son? That working hard isn’t worth it? That
seems to be what the universe is attempting to beat into my head. That
honesty isn’t valuable? Well it’s sure as hell gotten me nowhere.

I guess I’m just too stupid to give up.

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